Tiddleywinks
From The Goon Show Depository
| "Tiddleywinks" | |
|---|---|
| The Goon Show episode | |
| Episode: no. | Series: 8 Episode: 24 |
| Written by | Spike Milligan |
| Announcer | Wallace Greenslade |
| Produced by | Charles Chilton |
| Music |
|
| Recording Number | TLO 51225 |
| First broadcast | 10 March 1958 |
| Running time | 29:03 |
| Guest appearance | |
| John Snagge | |
Show Notes
- A humorous article entitled Does Prince Philip Cheat at Tiddlywinks? had appeared in The Spectator on Friday 18 October 1957 and led to the Cambridge University Tiddlywinks Club approaching Prince Phillip – the President of the National Playing Fields Association -two days later to see if he would be prepared to good-naturedly field a team to prove his honour in the sport. At an Extraordinary Committee Meeting on Tuesday 29, the Goons wer e proposed as the Duke's Royal Champions; the Tiddlywinks Club had been trying to get the Goons to attend a match since March 1955. The Prince's representatives quickly agreed to the notion and by Wednesday 13 November, Harry had been in touch with the club, followed soon after by Spike's missive: 'Hear Ye Varlet. Be It Known. To Your Sword Do Take 'pon. The Day To Be Fix-ed. Sir Spike the Milligan.' The game - planned for the New Year-was mentioned in the Daily Express on Saturday 16 November. On Thursday 28 November, Spike proposed a team comprising himself, Harry, Peter, Wallace, Max and Ray (who was ultimately deputised by Goon collaborator Graham Stark) plus writers Ray Galton and Alan Simpson and offered the services of senior BBC announcer John Snagge as umpire, with the club suggesting the date of Saturday I March; the fixture was announced by The Times on Tuesday 17 December. 600 seats were available at the venue and all these had sold out by Sunday 9 February.
- The great tiddlywinks match - Goons versus Gowns - was held at the Guildhall, Cambridge, from 11 am on Saturday 1 March. John Snagge read out Prince Philip's message: 'Please give my best wishes to the two teams taking part in the great contest, but try, if you can, to do it in such a way that you convey that I wish the Cambridge team to lose and my incomparable champions to win a resounding and stereophonic victory. At one time I had hoped to join my champions but, unfortunately, while practising secretly I pulled an important muscle in the second, or tiddly, joint of my winking finger. This is naturally very disappointing but at least it gives my side a very much better chance to win. Wink up, fiddle the game and may the Goons' side win. - Philip’. However, the Royal Champions (who according to the Sunday Times sported 'the Royal colours ... curious long yellow cotton garments … the traditional Goons sheets … with orange, yellow and black school caps, and ties embroidered with the initials of the Royals Tiddlywinks Club 1958) were defeated by the Cambridge University Tiddlywinks Club, losing by 55½ points to 120.5 points. The event was covered by film crews from the American station CBS, BBC TV, ITN, Pathe News and British Movietone, while BBC commentator Brian Johnston recorded a matside commentary for Saturday Night on the Light and chatted to the players. After the match, having performed the Tiddlywinks Anthem specially written by life-long tiddlywinks devotee Rev E.A. Willis, Harry was whisked off to Coventry by Fison's Pest Control helicopter to make the matinee performance of Puss-in-Boots (as commented upon by Willium in The Spon Plague). During lunch, Spike sent a telegram to Prince Philip: ‘Prepare to abandon ship, (signed) Royal Champion’.
- Spike's script inspired by the previous weekend's events, Tiddleywinks, was recorded, with John Snagge joining the cast. In this dialogue, Peter made brief reference to the increasingly popular writer/performer Bob Monkhouse, while a series of ad-libs from Lalkaka and Banajee about a concrete lamp post were a reference to the activities of 89 year-old stage and film actor A.E. Matthews who had spent Saturday 8 March sitting on a chair over a hole outside Prospect Cottage, Little Bushey Lane in Bushey Heath preventing council workmen from erecting the ‘hideous monstrosity’ outside his house. Spike's script returned to the format of the earlier series, with the first part of the show devoted to a sketch about Peter's obsession with cars which was unconnected from the main tale of tiddlywink revenge. The show closed with Harry giving another rendition of the Tiddlywinks Anthem, the closing signature tune was neither Old Comrades nor Ding Dong the Witch is Dead (which was now often used as a playout) but – for one week – Red River Rose by Johnnie Reine and Tommie Connor.
