The Missing Battleship

"The Missing Battleship"
The Goon Show episode
Episode: no.	Series: 8 Episode: 8
Written by	Spike Milligan Larry Stephens
Announcer	Wallace Greenslade
Produced by	Roy Speer
Music	Orchestra: Wally Stott Ellington: Up Above My Head Geldray: —
Recording Number	TLO 41935
First broadcast	18 November 1957 (1957-11-18)
Running time	29:56

The Missing Battleship is an episode from The Goon Show. It is the eighth show in the eighth series.

A pre-recording session (DLO 41935A, to do mainly effects) took place Sunday 17 November 1957, 6.30pm. at The Camden Theatre, Camden Town, London. The recording for transmission was created later that Sunday evening, at 9.15pm, also at The Camden (TLO 41935).

The Vintage Goons fourth episode, The Giant Bombardon, was recorded the same day as this show.

The first Home Service broadcast was the next day, Monday at 8.30pm 18 November 1957, its ratings were 1.5 million. It was then repeated on the Light Programme the following Thursday 21 November 1957 at 9pm to 2.6 million listeners.

Transcription Service Synopsis

If Britain's latest battleship. HMS Boxer (built 1902) were to be stolen, on whom would suspicion fall? A shrewd guess would be Moriarty and Grytpype-Thynne, but inevitably Neddie Seagoon is incriminated in the plot. He is marooned on the Isle of Alasai which mysteriously starts to sail towards England … As for the rest of the plot, in the words of the Goons. ‘It's all in the mind you know’.

Story

Light yourself a hammock for our story begins onboard Britain's largest battleship, the 1902 HMS Boxer , where a broadcast of their favourite programme, Variety Awash, is now in progress. Old jokes ahoy! (And that was nothing like an old joke). But music-hall comic Hairy Seagoon can't stop Captain Jim 'Bilge' Moriarty's piracy and the ship is swiftly flying the Jolly Roger. Crash landing on a desert island could save them but there are cannibals about. And they're threatening to put Bluebottle inside. Inside what? Inside them!

Music

• The BBC Orchester was conducted by Wally Stott.
• The Ray Ellington Quartet plays Up Above My Head (Sister Rosetta Tharpe).
• Max Geldray's performance was excised due to the show running too long..

Technical

Originally recorded on TLO 41935 (15 ips ¼" tape recorded at Broadcasting House).

The TLO 41935 master tape survived intact in TS, and has been used for this issue. Max Geldray's number was evidently lost in the editing required to get the performance (listed as over 42' duration in the tape log) down to transmission length, as his credit has been rather crudely excised from the closing announcement.

Show Notes

• Editing The Missing Battleship was a nightmare for Roy. The script had been largely written by Larry Stephens and had run to 25 pages rather than the usual 19 or 20; as such, the recorded programme ran twelve minutes too long. Even after removing various scenes set in the House of Commons and of Seagoon reading the Life of Captain Kidd, the adventure was still over-length. Sadly Roy took the decision to completely remove Max Geldray's harmonica performance during the afternoon, in ready for the evening broadcast. Unfortunately neither Roy nor his secretary, Evelyn, were able to contact Max to warn him before transmission. Roy was then taken ill for a couple of days, and it was not until Thursday that he was able to write an apologetic letter to Max.
• The brandy issue also rumbled on, with Con Mahoney – Assistant Head of Light Entertainment – writing to the absent Roy on Tuesday 19 and noting that a 'previous producer' had assured him that this practice had stopped: 'I can only suggest that you tell your cast in a friendly and understandable fashion the Corporation's attitude towards the conduct that is causing us this bother’.
• The Missing Battleship mentioned Variety Awash which was a parody of Variety Ahoy, a popular services entertainment programme of the time.