The Histories of Pliny the Elder

"The Histories of Pliny the Elder"
The Goon Show episode
Episode: no.	Series: 7 Episode: 25
Written by	Spike Milligan Larry Stephens
Announcer	Wallace Greenslade
Produced by	Pat Dixon
Music	Orchestra: Wally Stott Geldray:Get Happy Ellington: You Made Me Love You / This Can't Be Love
Recording Number	TLO 26030
First broadcast	28 March 1957 (1957-03-28)
Running time	31:57

The Histories of Pliny the Elder is an episode from The Goon Show. It is the twenty-fifth show in the seventh series. It is a parody of the occupation of Britain by the Romans.

A pre-recording session took place Sunday 24 March 1957, 5pm. at The Camden Theatre, Camden Town, London (DLO 27128). The recording for transmission was created later that same Sunday, at 9pm, also at The Camden (TLO 26030).

The first Home Service broadcast was the following Thursday at 8.30pm 28 March 1957, its ratings were 1.5 million. It was then repeated on the Light Programme the following Tuesday 2 April 1957 at 8pm to 3.4 million listeners.

BBC Records Synopsis by John Browell, Goon Show Producer

Q: 'Would you care to join us!'
A:.'Why, are you coming apart!'

And the Goons prove that that joke was going strong in Roman times. It all came about through that football match in the EUFA Cup between the Romans and Ancient Britons which England lost (as usual). Harry Secombe, using his only other ‘voice’, plays Caractacus Seagoon who, with Bluebottle, Eccles and the original sailor of 'hello' fame, finds himself the main attraction on the Coliseum bill. There are also welcome appearances of Little Jim and Mate. They cast 'brandy' jokes about with great spirit and the story has one of Spike's favourite endings. Goon historians may like to note that this was one of the few productions by Pat Dixon without whose behind-the-scenes pressure and connivance, the BBC would never have been tricked into giving birth to the Goons. Wouldn't we – and they – have all been much poorer!

Plot

In the year X-L-1-1-1 B.C., Julius Caesar (sounding a lot like Hercules Grytpype-Thynne) lands on the British shore and is greeted by Ecclus. Caesar asks his second-in-command, Brutus Moriartus, to seize Ecclus and prepare him for a life of slavery. The next "Charlie Britannicus" to come along is Neddie Seagoon. Caesar remarks "Gad, he's up early. He must be one of the Early Britons." Moriartus finally has to explain that they're here to conquer Britain, and the natives must prepare themselves for "combattus", but they think he means a football game and arrive attired in blue jerseys and a football.

For ten years Caesar rules with an iron hand—then with a wooden foot, and finally with a piece of string. He claims he's still an imperial Roman, but then asks for a "half of mild and a packet of crisps." Bloodnokus is brought in, accused of leading a rebellion, and is told he must deliver four of his compatriots for the Coliseum games in Rome. They're put to rowing in the galleys, where Ecclus tells Bluebottlus he's never done this before.

Seagoon reappears, now in his true guise as "the Welsh chief Caractacus Seagoon". With Bluebottlus and Ecclus, he is bought by a promoter for the Games. When he learns he is not scheduled to sing, but to be strangled by a gorilla, Seagoon conspires with his fellow prisoners to escape. They are met by Willium Hannibal and Little Jim, who lead them to the hideout of Sprartacus from Prortigal. Sprartacus turns out to be Bloodnok. He tells them they're perfectly safe because the hideout is inside the extinct volcano, Vesumruverus. The volcano promptly explodes, leaving Greenslade reminding listeners to tune in next week.

Music

• The BBC Radio Orchestra was conducted by Wally Stott
• Max Geldray plays Get Happy (Harold Arlen (music) / Ted Koehler (lyrics))
• The Ray Ellington Quartet plays You Made Me Love You (James V. Monaco (music) / Joseph McCarthy (lyrics)) / This Can't Be Love (Richard Rodgers (music) / Lorenz Hart (lyrics)

Technical

Originally recorded on TLO 26030 (15 ips ¼" tape recorded at Broadcasting House). This tape survived in TS, but some cuts made for the TGS issue were not preserved – these have been restored from a DAT dub of the Sound Archives shelf tape (T28594) made in 1990. Originally recorded on TLO 26030. This tape survived in TS, but some cuts made for the TGS issue were not preserved – these have been restored from a DAT dub of the Sound Archives shelf tape (T28594) made in 1990.

Show Notes

• There was an end-of-term feel for the recording of The Histories of Pliny the Elder, a Roman epic inspired by the encyclopaedic work of the first century philosopher Gaius Plinius Secundus and featuring one of Spike's favourite climaxes to a story. With this final show (which included references to the BBC radio soap Mrs Dale's Diary) completed, Harry set off for some bookings in Kenya with Eric Sykes, while Peter was off to Toronto.
• In The Listener, critic Roy Walker described the Light Programme repeat of The Histories of Pliny the

Elder as 'a man-made madhouse', noting ‘the studio audience laughed like mad. My critical countenance, noting the triumph of speed and vocal antics over antique material, remain uncreased. but maybe I'm crazy.’