https://www.thegoonshow.co.uk/wiki/api.php?action=feedcontributions&feedformat=atom&user=2.28.199.59The Goon Show Depository - User contributions [en]2026-05-13T22:28:28ZUser contributionsMediaWiki 1.38.2https://www.thegoonshow.co.uk/wiki/index.php?title=List_of_Never_the_Twain_episodes&diff=16065List of Never the Twain episodes2022-07-28T12:42:15Z<p>2.28.199.59: /* Series 11 (1991) */Added content</p>
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<div>{{Use dmy dates|date=April 2022}}<br />
{{Short description|none}}<br />
{{More citations needed|date=June 2019}}<br />
{{No plot|date=August 2020}}<br />
{{italic title|string=Never the Twain}}<br />
''[[Never the Twain]]'' is a British television [[sitcom]] created by [[Johnnie Mortimer]]. The show debuted 7 September 1981 on [[ITV (TV network)|ITV]]. During its ten-year run, 11 series and a Christmas special were produced, with 67 episodes broadcast in total. The lead characters are Simon Peel and Oliver Smallbridge, played by [[Donald Sinden]] and [[Windsor Davies]] respectively, who are rival [[antique]] dealers that have shops next door to each other as well as neighbouring houses. Peel's son David ([[Robin Kermode]]/Christopher Morris) and Smallbridge's daughter Lynn ([[Julia Watson]]/Tacy Kneale) enter into a relationship and marry much to the reluctance of their fathers. Peel and Smallbridge engage in a continuous games of [[one-upmanship]] but often appear to be friends despite neither prepared to admit it. Recurring characters include Veronica Barton ([[Honor Blackman]]), a middle-class [[widow]] whom Peel and Smallbridge battle for the affection of; Banks ([[Teddy Turner (actor)|Teddy Turner]]), Peel's [[butler]]; Ringo ([[Derek Deadman]]), Smallbridge's idiotic shop assistant; Mrs. Sadler ([[Maria Charles]]), Smallbridge's clumsy cleaner who has a habit of breaking things; and Eleanor ([[Zara Nutley]]), Peel's auntie.<ref>{{cite news|url=https://www.independent.co.uk/news/people/obituary-johnnie-mortimer-1549424.html|title=Obituary: Johnnie Mortimer|date=5 September 1992|newspaper=[[The Independent]]|first=Philip|last=Jones|accessdate=7 May 2019}}</ref><ref>{{cite news|url=https://www.heraldscotland.com/opinion/17371535.obituary-windsor-davies-actor-and-star-of-it-aint-half-hot-mum/|title=Obituary: Windsor Davies, actor and star of It Ain’t Half Hot Mum|date=20 January 2019|newspaper=[[The Herald (Glasgow)|The Herald]]|accessdate=7 May 2019}}</ref><ref>{{cite news|url=https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-29172051|title=In pictures: Donald Sinden|date=12 September 2014|work=[[BBC Online]]|accessdate=7 May 2019}}</ref><br />
<br />
==Series overview==<br />
<onlyinclude>{{Series overview<br />
<br />
| color1 = #79bad8<br />
| link1 = List of Never the Twain episodes#Series 1 (1981)<br />
| episodes1 = 6<br />
| start1 = {{Start date|1981|09|07|df=y}}<br />
| end1 = {{End date|1981|10|19|df=y}}<br />
<br />
| color2 = #e2cfaf<br />
| link2 = List of Never the Twain episodes#Series 2 (1982)<br />
| episodes2 = 6<br />
| start2 = {{Start date|1982|09|07|df=y}}<br />
| end2 = {{End date|1982|10|12|df=y}}<br />
<br />
| color3 = #785031<br />
| link3 = List of Never the Twain episodes#Series 3 (1983)<br />
| episodes3 = 6<br />
| start3 = {{Start date|1983|10|10|df=y}}<br />
| end3 = {{End date|1983|11|14|df=y}}<br />
<br />
| color4 = #809F56<br />
| link4 = List of Never the Twain episodes#Series 4 (1984)<br />
| episodes4 = 6<br />
| start4 = {{Start date|1984|11|08|df=y}}<br />
| end4 = {{End date|1984|12|13|df=y}}<br />
<br />
| color5 = #8F3E3F<br />
| link5 = List of Never the Twain episodes#Series 5 (1986)<br />
| episodes5 = 6<br />
| start5 = {{Start date|1986|01|08|df=y}}<br />
| end5 = {{End date|1986|02|12|df=y}}<br />
<br />
| color6 = #b9cadc<br />
| link6 = List of Never the Twain episodes#Series 6 (1987)<br />
| episodes6 = 6<br />
| start6 = {{Start date|1987|01|15|df=y}}<br />
| end6 = {{End date|1987|02|19|df=y}}<br />
<br />
| color7 = #b2aba1<br />
| link7 = List of Never the Twain episodes#Series 7 (1988)<br />
| episodes7 = 6<br />
| start7 = {{Start date|1988|01|27|df=y}}<br />
| end7 = {{End date|1988|03|02|df=y}}<br />
<br />
| color8 = #404a53<br />
| link8 = List of Never the Twain episodes#Series 8 (1988)<br />
| episodes8 = 6<br />
| start8 = {{Start date|1988|10|24|df=y}}<br />
| end8 = {{End date|1988|11|28|df=y}}<br />
<br />
| color9 = #000<br />
| link9 = List of Never the Twain episodes#Series 9 (1989)<br />
| episodes9 = 6<br />
| start9 = {{Start date|1989|09|06|df=y}}<br />
| end9 = {{End date|1989|10|11|df=y}}<br />
<br />
| color9S = #8B0000<br />
| link9S = List of Never the Twain episodes#Christmas Special (1989)<br />
| linkT9S = Christmas Special<br />
| start9S = {{Start date|1989|12|28|df=y}}<br />
<br />
| color10 = #243048<br />
| link10 = List of Never the Twain episodes#Series 10 (1990)<br />
| episodes10 = 6<br />
| start10 = {{Start date|1990|09|05|df=y}}<br />
| end10 = {{End date|1990|10|10|df=y}}<br />
<br />
| color11 = #b49366<br />
| link11 = List of Never the Twain episodes#Series 11 (1991)<br />
| episodes11 = 6<br />
| start11 = {{Start date|1991|09|04|df=y}}<br />
| end11 = {{End date|1991|10|09|df=y}}<br />
}}</onlyinclude><br />
<br />
==Episodes==<br />
===Series 1 (1981)===<br />
{{Episode table |background=#79bad8 |overall=5 |season=5 |title=22 |director=18 |writer=18 |airdate=18 |episodes=<br />
<br />
{{Episode list<br />
| EpisodeNumber = 1<br />
| EpisodeNumber2 = 1<br />
| Title = Families At War<br />
| DirectedBy = Peter Frazer-Jones<br />
| WrittenBy = Johnnie Mortimer<br />
| OriginalAirDate = {{Start date|1981|09|07|df=y}}<br />
| ShortSummary = Antique dealers Simon Peel and Oliver Smallbridge were once partners until Oliver had an affair with Simon's wife. Now they are bitter rivals - and next-door neighbours, constantly trying to sabotage each other. Oliver's daughter, riding instructress Lyn, and Simon's son David, a trainee accountant, are in love and want to marry. The two fathers hold a temporary truce to oppose the plan - until Lyn falsely claims that she is pregnant.<br />
| LineColor = 79bad8<br />
}}<br />
{{Episode list<br />
| EpisodeNumber = 2<br />
| EpisodeNumber2 = 2<br />
| Title = Of Meissen Men<br />
| DirectedBy = Peter Frazer-Jones<br />
| WrittenBy = Johnnie Mortimer<br />
| OriginalAirDate = {{Start date|1981|09|14|df=y}}<br />
| ShortSummary = Reading that a widow called Veronica Barton is selling her late husband's Meissen collection both Simon and Oliver, pretending to be private collectors, visit, hoping for a knock-down bargain. Discovering that she is an attractive middle-aged woman they compete for her affections as well as the porcelain but when she discovers their true intentions she gets her revenge at a smart restaurant. Lyn and David finally admit that she is not pregnant but try to help their fathers by claiming that the Meissen is to be a wedding present. Veronica consents to selling to both ...<br />
| LineColor = 79bad8<br />
}}<br />
{{Episode list<br />
| EpisodeNumber = 3<br />
| EpisodeNumber2 = 3<br />
| Title = A Night at the Opera<br />
| DirectedBy = Peter Frazer-Jones<br />
| WrittenBy = Johnnie Mortimer<br />
| OriginalAirDate = {{Start date|1981|09|21|df=y}}<br />
| ShortSummary = Veronica tells Simon and Oliver that she has a spare ticket for 'Cosi Fan Tutti' in Edinburgh but neither Simon nor Oliver is initially interested - until Oliver poaches Simon's daily help, Mrs Grieves and Simon decides he will escort her out of revenge. Oliver sabotages the plan by telling Simon that Veronica wants to marry him but Simon exposes the plan to Veronica so that Oliver ends up taking Mrs Grieves. Simon finds his replacement for Mrs Grieves in elderly ex-seaman Banks who is happy to pose as the butler.<br />
| LineColor = 79bad8<br />
}}<br />
{{Episode list<br />
| EpisodeNumber = 4<br />
| EpisodeNumber2 = 4<br />
| Title = A Matched Pair<br />
| DirectedBy = Peter Frazer-Jones<br />
| WrittenBy = Johnnie Mortimer<br />
| OriginalAirDate = {{Start date|1981|09|28|df=y}}<br />
| ShortSummary = Not only is Oliver's golf club membership refused but his shop is burgled. However the duelling pistols that he reports as stolen were only borrowed by his dim assistant Rocky so, to prevent complications, Rocky dumps them in Simon's shop. Initially amused by Oliver's misfortune Simon is appalled when he gets charged with receiving stolen goods. Oliver comes forward to let him off the hook - provided he will endorse Oliver's golf club membership application.<br />
| LineColor = 79bad8<br />
}}<br />
{{Episode list<br />
| EpisodeNumber = 5<br />
| EpisodeNumber2 = 5<br />
| Title = Nothing but the Truth<br />
| DirectedBy = Peter Frazer-Jones<br />
| WrittenBy = Johnnie Mortimer<br />
| OriginalAirDate = {{Start date|1981|10|05|df=y}}<br />
| ShortSummary = Lyn and David vow that they will never lie to each other. Their fathers are sceptical - and gleeful when Lyn breaks off the engagement after David has admitted to a drunken kiss with another girl at a party. Now neither of them will need to pretend to be friends for their children's sake. However the young couple are so miserable that eventually Simon and Oliver combine to reunite them.<br />
| LineColor = 79bad8<br />
}}<br />
{{Episode list<br />
| EpisodeNumber = 6<br />
| EpisodeNumber2 = 6<br />
| Title = Father of the Groom<br />
| DirectedBy = Peter Frazer-Jones<br />
| WrittenBy = Johnnie Mortimer<br />
| OriginalAirDate = {{Start date|1981|10|19|df=y}}<br />
| ShortSummary = Simon throws a dinner party for the Smallbridges where inevitably Lyn and David try to keep the peace. After the meal the fathers play cards but Oliver is offended when Simon accuses him of cheating and storms out. Lyn and David get married and, overcome by emotion, Oliver and Simon make up - and decide to play cards again.<br />
| LineColor = 79bad8<br />
}}<br />
}}<br />
<br />
===Series 2 (1982)===<br />
{{Episode table |background=#e2cfaf |overall=5 |season=5 |title=22 |director=18 |writer=18 |airdate=18 |episodes=<br />
<br />
{{Episode list<br />
| EpisodeNumber = 7<br />
| EpisodeNumber2 = 1<br />
| Title = Who's Been Sleeping In My Bed?<br />
| DirectedBy = Peter Frazer-Jones<br />
| WrittenBy = Johnnie Mortimer<br />
| OriginalAirDate = {{Start date|1982|09|07|df=y}}<br />
| ShortSummary = Whilst Lyn and David are on their honeymoon Oliver has a double bed delivered to the rooms they occupy in Simon's house. Simon however has the same idea and two beds now take up a lot of space. When neither of the fathers are prepared to back down the children take their own parent's side and row so to keep the peace Oliver sends back his bed. Unfortunately Simon does too.<br />
| LineColor = e2cfaf<br />
}}<br />
{{Episode list<br />
| EpisodeNumber = 8<br />
| EpisodeNumber2 = 2<br />
| Title = As Young As You Feel<br />
| DirectedBy = Peter Frazer-Jones<br />
| WrittenBy = Johnnie Mortimer<br />
| OriginalAirDate = {{Start date|1982|09|14|df=y}}<br />
| ShortSummary = When he complains that she is spending too much time looking after her father who is exploiting her goodwill Lyn agrees to accompany David to a rock concert, rather than help Oliver celebrate his birthday. Under the guise of friendship Simon fixes him up with a birthday blind date but it is with the man-eating Isadora Beecham, from whose clutches Simon is trying to escape. Oliver however turns the tables on him.<br />
| LineColor = e2cfaf<br />
}}<br />
{{Episode list<br />
| EpisodeNumber = 9<br />
| EpisodeNumber2 = 3<br />
| Title = A Woman's Place...<br />
| DirectedBy = Peter Frazer-Jones<br />
| WrittenBy = Johnnie Mortimer<br />
| OriginalAirDate = {{Start date|1982|09|21|df=y}}<br />
| ShortSummary = When Lyn gets a promotion and pay rise at work student David feels inferior and forbids her to take it. They argue and she moves back in with Oliver, who finds her attentions stifling, so he and Simon collude to get the pair back together again. Banks also finds Oliver a housekeeper - his girlfriend, the accident-prone Mrs Sadler.<br />
| LineColor = e2cfaf<br />
}}<br />
{{Episode list<br />
| EpisodeNumber = 10<br />
| EpisodeNumber2 = 4<br />
| Title = Blood Brothers<br />
| DirectedBy = Peter Frazer-Jones<br />
| WrittenBy = Johnnie Mortimer<br />
| OriginalAirDate = {{Start date|1982|09|28|df=y}}<br />
| ShortSummary = Whilst visiting Oliver Simon has a fall and badly cuts himself, being rushed to hospital. Having the same blood group a very reluctant Oliver agrees to donate blood for a necessary transfusion. Made to feel grateful by David Simon agrees to stop seeing Veronica and lend Oliver his car so that he can date her. However when Simon learns what really happened at the hospital he plans his revenge.<br />
| LineColor = e2cfaf<br />
}}<br />
{{Episode list<br />
| EpisodeNumber = 11<br />
| EpisodeNumber2 = 5<br />
| Title = If You Knew Susan<br />
| DirectedBy = Peter Frazer-Jones<br />
| WrittenBy = Johnnie Mortimer<br />
| OriginalAirDate = {{Start date|1982|10|05|df=y}}<br />
| ShortSummary = Simon's unpretentious younger sister Susan comes to stay and Simon is perturbed that she likes Oliver and starts going out with him. He offers Oliver a bribe to stop the relationship, unaware that Oliver has learned that Susan only wants to be friends as she has contacted her former boyfriend and has accepted the fact. Oliver uses Simon's ignorance to obtain a coveted figurine at a knock-down price though neither intended that they would end up in a restaurant being romantically serenaded.<br />
| LineColor = e2cfaf<br />
}}<br />
{{Episode list<br />
| EpisodeNumber = 12<br />
| EpisodeNumber2 = 6<br />
| Title = The More We Are Together<br />
| DirectedBy = Peter Frazer-Jones<br />
| WrittenBy = Johnnie Mortimer<br />
| OriginalAirDate = {{Start date|1982|10|12|df=y}}<br />
| ShortSummary = When David does Oliver's accounts he discovers that Oliver has not been entirely honest about his profits. The tax inspector calls whilst Oliver is out so Oliver reckons that if he and Simon go back into partnership Simon will have to pay half the tax. The deal is signed - after which it is discovered that the tax man accidentally took Simon's books, making Oliver liable for half the payments.<br />
| LineColor = e2cfaf<br />
}}<br />
}}<br />
<br />
===Series 3 (1983)===<br />
{{Episode table |background=#785031 |overall=5 |season=5 |title=22 |director=18 |writer=18 |airdate=18 |episodes=<br />
<br />
{{Episode list<br />
| EpisodeNumber = 13<br />
| EpisodeNumber2 = 1<br />
| Title = Taking Stock<br />
| DirectedBy = Peter Frazer-Jones<br />
| WrittenBy = Brian Platt<br />
| OriginalAirDate = {{Start date|1983|10|10|df=y}}<br />
| ShortSummary = Now that they are partners again Oliver and Simon spend a day stock-taking and disparaging each other's items. Oliver is delighted when Bethan, an old school friend, comes into the shop to sell an antique watch. For old times sake Oliver pays her over the odds, later to learn from Simon that she is a con artist - after Oliver has parted with cash half of which now belongs to Simon.<br />
| LineColor = 785031<br />
}}<br />
{{Episode list<br />
| EpisodeNumber = 14<br />
| EpisodeNumber2 = 2<br />
| Title = Partners<br />
| DirectedBy = Peter Frazer-Jones<br />
| WrittenBy = Brian Platt<br />
| OriginalAirDate = {{Start date|1983|10|17|df=y}}<br />
| ShortSummary = Simon is approached by Mr Wilde, a health food company rep, who wants to buy the shop for its premises and the offer is tempting. Oliver meanwhile wrongly believes that Ringo has won the pools and considers asking him to buy into the partnership to replace Simon. Both men approach the other to tear up the partnership agreement. In the event Ringo has not won the pools and Wilde turns out to be a deluded psychiatric patient so the partnership is back on again - with a pleasant surprise at Ringo's party.<br />
| LineColor = 785031<br />
}}<br />
{{Episode list<br />
| EpisodeNumber = 15<br />
| EpisodeNumber2 = 3<br />
| Title = A Nose for Quality<br />
| DirectedBy = Peter Frazer-Jones<br />
| WrittenBy = John Kane<br />
| OriginalAirDate = {{Start date|1983|10|24|df=y}}<br />
| ShortSummary = Imperious Lady Devereaux calls in on Simon whilst in the next door shop elderly Mrs Piggit offers Oliver pieces for sale but seeing the Rolls parked outside Oliver wrongly assumes that she is the aristocrat. He is surprised to find that she lives in a council flat but he does pick up some valuable Netsuke whereas Simon's visit to the real Lady Devereaux to outwit his rival proves to be a wasted journey. At least Simon can take comfort from the fact that the Netsukes are fakes.<br />
| LineColor = 785031<br />
}}<br />
{{Episode list<br />
| EpisodeNumber = 16<br />
| EpisodeNumber2 = 4<br />
| Title = The End of the Line<br />
| DirectedBy = Peter Frazer-Jones<br />
| WrittenBy = Vince Powell<br />
| OriginalAirDate = {{Start date|1983|10|31|df=y}}<br />
| ShortSummary = Simon and Oliver are concerned when Lyn and David claim that they do not want children, David pretending to have had a vasectomy to put them off the scent. Simon and Oliver both sign up to a dating agency and are told to meet their blind dates in a bar but since they have submitted very old photographs of themselves the women fail to recognize them and they get drunk together, rolling home to find that David has not had the snip after all.<br />
| LineColor = 785031<br />
}}<br />
{{Episode list<br />
| EpisodeNumber = 17<br />
| EpisodeNumber2 = 5<br />
| Title = The Welsh Connection<br />
| DirectedBy = Peter Frazer-Jones<br />
| WrittenBy = Peter Tilbury<br />
| OriginalAirDate = {{Start date|1983|11|07|df=y}}<br />
| ShortSummary = When Lyn and David opine that their over-weight fathers should go on a diet the two men join forces to resist and eat the most unhealthy foods in order to relax and enjoy life. A wake-up call occurs when Oliver learns that a good friend back in Wales has died of a heart attack and he and Simon suddenly espouse healthy living. They even become friends - until Simon learns that Oliver is heading for an auction in Wales to buy the deceased's valuable antiques and gives chase.<br />
| LineColor = 785031<br />
}}<br />
{{Episode list<br />
| EpisodeNumber = 18<br />
| EpisodeNumber2 = 6<br />
| Title = Not On the Same Wavelength<br />
| DirectedBy = Peter Frazer-Jones<br />
| WrittenBy = Richard Hills<br />
| OriginalAirDate = {{Start date|1983|11|14|df=y}}<br />
| ShortSummary = Both dealers are invited onto local radio to talk about antiques but, since the producer is a member of his golf club, only Simon is asked. With Lyn knitting baby clothes for a friend the fathers assume she is pregnant, and are overjoyed, calling a truce with Simon making sure Oliver gets on the radio show with him. Only on air is it discovered that Lyn is not pregnant, which leads to a fight.<br />
| LineColor = 785031<br />
}}<br />
}}<br />
<br />
===Series 4 (1984)===<br />
{{Episode table |background=#809F56 |overall=5 |season=5 |title=22 |director=18 |writer=18 |airdate=18 |episodes=<br />
<br />
{{Episode list<br />
| EpisodeNumber = 19<br />
| EpisodeNumber2 = 1<br />
| Title = A Home of Your Own<br />
| DirectedBy = Robert Reed<br />
| WrittenBy = John Kane<br />
| OriginalAirDate = {{Start date|1984|11|08|df=y}}<br />
| ShortSummary = With Lyn and David now in Vancouver where he is working, their flat in Simon's house is empty. His formidable aunt Eleanor rings but, fearing that she wants to move in, he offers it to old school friend Alex - though he throws him out when he realises Alex wants it for an illicit love nest with his secretary. Aunt Eleanor arrives so to forestall her, Simon offers Ringo the flat - only to learn his aunt wanted it for her pretty god-daughter, whom Oliver is more than happy to accommodate.<br />
| LineColor = 809F56<br />
}}<br />
{{Episode list<br />
| EpisodeNumber = 20<br />
| EpisodeNumber2 = 2<br />
| Title = The Royal Connection<br />
| DirectedBy = Robert Reed<br />
| WrittenBy = Vince Powell<br />
| OriginalAirDate = {{Start date|1984|11|15|df=y}}<br />
| ShortSummary = Learning that Prince Charles collects Victoriana, Oliver sends him a gift, hoping to secure his patronage. When Simon finds out he fakes a letter of thanks though Oliver knows it is a fraud. Sadly the parcel he sent the prince is returned as the contents are broken. To get revenge on Simon Oliver takes advantage of the fact that Simon is tracing his family tree and leads him to believe that he is of royal descent. This gives Simon delusions of grandeur though the genealogist shows him that his ancestors were indeed notorious - but for all the wrong reasons.<br />
| LineColor = 809F56<br />
}}<br />
{{Episode list<br />
| EpisodeNumber = 21<br />
| EpisodeNumber2 = 3<br />
| Title = Words and Music<br />
| DirectedBy = Robert Reed<br />
| WrittenBy = John Kane<br />
| OriginalAirDate = {{Start date|1984|11|22|df=y}}<br />
| ShortSummary = Oliver's vet Caroline wants him to sing at her upcoming charity event. Not to be outdone Simon plans to give a dramatic recitation, but when each threatens to withdraw if the other goes on last, she decides to drop them both and go with Ringo, who does impressions. This is enough for them both to come back on side, but on the night Simon loses his voice and Oliver's singing sets the dogs off barking in chorus.<br />
| LineColor = 809F56<br />
}}<br />
{{Episode list<br />
| EpisodeNumber = 22<br />
| EpisodeNumber2 = 4<br />
| Title = No Flame Like An Old Flame<br />
| DirectedBy = Robert Reed<br />
| WrittenBy = Vince Powell<br />
| OriginalAirDate = {{Start date|1984|11|29|df=y}}<br />
| ShortSummary = Simon gets a visit from his first love, Janis Hunter, now a very wealthy widow. The promise of money leads him to propose to her and she accepts but there is a price to pay as she bans him from smoking and drinking and puts him on a vegetarian diet. Simon begins to regret the proposal and calls on Oliver to help get him off the hook.<br />
| LineColor = 809F56<br />
}}<br />
{{Episode list<br />
| EpisodeNumber = 23<br />
| EpisodeNumber2 = 5<br />
| Title = Loves' Neighbours' Lost<br />
| DirectedBy = Robert Reed<br />
| WrittenBy = Richard Hills<br />
| OriginalAirDate = {{Start date|1984|12|06|df=y}}<br />
| ShortSummary = Simon and Oliver both believe they stand a chance with Caroline and, after sabotaging each others' cars in order to take her on her rounds when her own motor is off the road, they decide on a duel. Caroline is horrified but so are her would-be suitors when she introduces them to her fiancé Leslie. Fortunately Mrs Sadler recognizes him as a serial womanizer so the engagement is off but Oliver has the last laugh when Simon's painting of Caroline is revealed.<br />
| LineColor = 809F56<br />
}}<br />
{{Episode list<br />
| EpisodeNumber = 24<br />
| EpisodeNumber2 = 6<br />
| Title = Come Fly with Me!<br />
| DirectedBy = Robert Reed<br />
| WrittenBy = John Kane<br />
| OriginalAirDate = {{Start date|1984|12|13|df=y}}<br />
| ShortSummary = Despite Mrs Sadler's premonition of disaster Oliver and Simon decide to fly to Canada to see their children, with suspiciously cheap plane tickets purchased from junk dealer Biffin's son. Following a recent spate of shop burglaries Simon installs a state of the art alarm system but when he forgets his passport and breaks into the shop it triggers it off, leading to his and Oliver's arrest. They do get a police escort to the airport but on arrival find their destination rather different to the one they expected.<br />
| LineColor = 809F56<br />
}}<br />
}}<br />
<br />
===Series 5 (1986)===<br />
{{Episode table |background=#8F3E3F |overall=5 |season=5 |title=22 |director=18 |writer=18 |airdate=18 |episodes=<br />
<br />
{{Episode list<br />
| EpisodeNumber = 25<br />
| EpisodeNumber2 = 1<br />
| Title = In Whom We Tryst<br />
| DirectedBy = Robert Reed<br />
| WrittenBy = John Kane<br />
| OriginalAirDate = {{Start date|1986|01|08|df=y}}<br />
| ShortSummary = Simon and Oliver are both smitten by Simon's glamorous new assistant Belinda and both are pleasantly surprised when she reveals to both separately that she will spend a weekend away with them. Both of them turn up at the tryst at an hotel, unaware that it is a ploy to get them away whilst she and her boyfriend are robbing their shops. Fortunately Ringo saves the day - albeit by accident when he locks himself in the shop and calls the police.<br />
| LineColor = 8F3E3F<br />
}}<br />
{{Episode list<br />
| EpisodeNumber = 26<br />
| EpisodeNumber2 = 2<br />
| Title = Going, Going, Gone!<br />
| DirectedBy = Robert Reed<br />
| WrittenBy = Vince Powell<br />
| OriginalAirDate = {{Start date|1986|01|15|df=y}}<br />
| ShortSummary = The two dealers plan - separately - to spend a night at a country pub and are surprised to meet each other there, especially as they have to share a bed in the one guest room. Each is hoping to beat the other in a bid for a grandfather clock at a nearby auction but, after Oliver has been locked out for the night in his pyjamas, their bickering means that neither ends up with the clock.<br />
| LineColor = 8F3E3F<br />
}}<br />
{{Episode list<br />
| EpisodeNumber = 27<br />
| EpisodeNumber2 = 3<br />
| Title = Thicker Than Water<br />
| DirectedBy = Robert Reed<br />
| WrittenBy = Vince Powell<br />
| OriginalAirDate = {{Start date|1986|01|22|df=y}}<br />
| ShortSummary = Whilst drinking in the pub with Oliver, Simon reveals that he is adopted, having been abandoned at an orphanage as a baby. Circumstances lead him to believe that his natural parents may be Charlie Crapper, a drunken petty thief, and his wife Lil, who sells papers on the street. He meets with them to break the bad news but fortunately they know something he does not.<br />
| LineColor = 8F3E3F<br />
}}<br />
{{Episode list<br />
| EpisodeNumber = 28<br />
| EpisodeNumber2 = 4<br />
| Title = Kung Who?<br />
| DirectedBy = Robert Reed<br />
| WrittenBy = Vince Powell<br />
| OriginalAirDate = {{Start date|1986|01|29|df=y}}<br />
| ShortSummary = Simon takes up judo to defend himself against likely muggers and invites Oliver to accompany him to his class at the gym. When Oliver accidentally puts on a tunic with a black belt Simon says nothing but enjoys seeing the so-called expert being pummelled by novices. Next day however Oliver gets revenge when a policeman who is a genuine black belt comes to the shop.<br />
| LineColor = 8F3E3F<br />
}}<br />
{{Episode list<br />
| EpisodeNumber = 29<br />
| EpisodeNumber2 = 5<br />
| Title = Reading Between the Lines<br />
| DirectedBy = Robert Reed<br />
| WrittenBy = John Kane<br />
| OriginalAirDate = {{Start date|1986|02|05|df=y}}<br />
| ShortSummary = Simon is aghast to learn that oily solicitor Brimley, with whom he was at school, is handling the property next to the antique shops and plans to sell it to a fast food chain in return for an expensive car. Brimley will only reconsider if Simon and Oliver pay him a hefty bribe. Fortunately Ringo's tale of unrequited love comes to the rescue when it is discovered that the married Brimley is having an affair with Ringo's dream girl.<br />
| LineColor = 8F3E3F<br />
}}<br />
{{Episode list<br />
| EpisodeNumber = 30<br />
| EpisodeNumber2 = 6<br />
| Title = Definitely Not Cricket<br />
| DirectedBy = Robert Reed<br />
| WrittenBy = John Kane<br />
| OriginalAirDate = {{Start date|1986|02|12|df=y}}<br />
| ShortSummary = Lady Devereaux offers Simon some sporting memorabilia at knock-down prices provided he captains her staff cricket team against the rival side led by parvenu bookie Bernie Miller. Simon is appalled to find his team comprises Lady Devereaux's elderly staff but when rain prevents the game going ahead Simon takes advantage of one staff member's prowess as a darts player and arranges a darts match instead. Miller's side gets thrashed and he has to pay her the money from the bet that his boys would win. Unfortunately for Simon this means that she no longer needs to sell him her paintings after all.<br />
| LineColor = 8F3E3F<br />
}}<br />
}}<br />
<br />
===Series 6 (1987)===<br />
{{Episode table |background=#b9cadc |overall=5 |season=5 |title=22 |director=18 |writer=18 |airdate=18 |episodes=<br />
<br />
{{Episode list<br />
| EpisodeNumber = 31<br />
| EpisodeNumber2 = 1<br />
| Title = Feed A Cold<br />
| DirectedBy = Robert Reed<br />
| WrittenBy = Vince Powell<br />
| OriginalAirDate = {{Start date|1987|01|15|df=y}}<br />
| ShortSummary = Simon has a cold and Oliver offers to look after him.<br />
| LineColor = b9cadc<br />
}}<br />
{{Episode list<br />
| EpisodeNumber = 32<br />
| EpisodeNumber2 = 2<br />
| Title = Going to Pot<br />
| DirectedBy = Robert Reed<br />
| WrittenBy = John Kane<br />
| OriginalAirDate = {{Start date|1987|01|22|df=y}}<br />
| ShortSummary = Ringo decides to get some culture. After meeting one of his teachers, Simon and Oliver are pleased to accept his invitation to dinner and Simon makes a discovery in the kitchen cupboard.<br />
| LineColor = b9cadc<br />
}}<br />
{{Episode list<br />
| EpisodeNumber = 33<br />
| EpisodeNumber2 = 3<br />
| Title = Love Is A Many-Splendoured Thing<br />
| DirectedBy = Robert Reed<br />
| WrittenBy = Vince Powell<br />
| OriginalAirDate = {{Start date|1987|01|29|df=y}}<br />
| ShortSummary = Oliver has fallen in love, however trouble arises after he meets his future mother-in-law.<br />
| LineColor = b9cadc<br />
}}<br />
{{Episode list<br />
| EpisodeNumber = 34<br />
| EpisodeNumber2 = 4<br />
| Title = A Night to Remember<br />
| DirectedBy = Robert Reed<br />
| WrittenBy = Vince Powell<br />
| OriginalAirDate = {{Start date|1987|02|05|df=y}}<br />
| ShortSummary = Burglars are in the neighbourhood, leading to an eventful night for the two households.<br />
| LineColor = b9cadc<br />
}}<br />
{{Episode list<br />
| EpisodeNumber = 35<br />
| EpisodeNumber2 = 5<br />
| Title = The Battle of Deveraux Dale<br />
| DirectedBy = Robert Reed<br />
| WrittenBy = John Kane<br />
| OriginalAirDate = {{Start date|1987|02|12|df=y}}<br />
| ShortSummary = Lady Deveraux asks Simon and Oliver to take part in a historical re-enactment of a Civil War battle, the battle of Deveraux Dale, at the village fete. On the opposing side is the bookie, Bernie Miller, who has a score to settle.<br />
| LineColor = b9cadc<br />
}}<br />
{{Episode list<br />
| EpisodeNumber = 36<br />
| EpisodeNumber2 = 6<br />
| Title = Affairs of the Heart<br />
| DirectedBy = Robert Reed<br />
| WrittenBy = John Kane<br />
| OriginalAirDate = {{Start date|1987|02|19|df=y}}<br />
| ShortSummary = Simon's ex-wife Stephanie arrives unexpectedly.<br />
| LineColor = b9cadc<br />
}}<br />
}}<br />
<br />
===Series 7 (1988)===<br />
{{Episode table |background=#b2aba1 |overall=5 |season=5 |title=22 |director=18 |writer=18 |airdate=18 |episodes=<br />
<br />
{{Episode list<br />
| EpisodeNumber = 37<br />
| EpisodeNumber2 = 1<br />
| Title = Settled Out of Court<br />
| DirectedBy = Robert Reed<br />
| WrittenBy = Vince Powell<br />
| OriginalAirDate = {{Start date|1988|01|27|df=y}}<br />
| ShortSummary = A legal dispute arises between the two antique dealers following an incident in Oliver's shop.<br />
| LineColor = b2aba1<br />
}}<br />
{{Episode list<br />
| EpisodeNumber = 38<br />
| EpisodeNumber2 = 2<br />
| Title = The Wagers of Sin<br />
| DirectedBy = Robert Reed<br />
| WrittenBy = John Kane<br />
| OriginalAirDate = {{Start date|1988|02|03|df=y}}<br />
| ShortSummary = Oliver and Simon decide to have a wager on who can make the most profit on an item chosen by the other.<br />
| LineColor = b2aba1<br />
}}<br />
{{Episode list<br />
| EpisodeNumber = 39<br />
| EpisodeNumber2 = 3<br />
| Title = Betrothed, Bothered and Bewildered<br />
| DirectedBy = Robert Reed<br />
| WrittenBy = Johnnie Mortimer<br />
| OriginalAirDate = {{Start date|1988|02|10|df=y}}<br />
| ShortSummary = After a boozy night out, Banks remembers that he has proposed to Mrs Sadler. However, neither wants to go through with it, although they don't know that.<br />
| LineColor = b2aba1<br />
}}<br />
{{Episode list<br />
| EpisodeNumber = 40<br />
| EpisodeNumber2 = 4<br />
| Title = The Second Time Around<br />
| DirectedBy = Robert Reed<br />
| WrittenBy = John Kane<br />
| OriginalAirDate = {{Start date|1988|02|17|df=y}}<br />
| ShortSummary = Mrs Sadler is missing Banks. Fortunately, there is a happy ending for both of them.<br />
| LineColor = b2aba1<br />
}}<br />
{{Episode list<br />
| EpisodeNumber = 41<br />
| EpisodeNumber2 = 5<br />
| Title = Born to Blush Unseen<br />
| DirectedBy = Robert Reed<br />
| WrittenBy = Vince Powell<br />
| OriginalAirDate = {{Start date|1988|02|24|df=y}}<br />
| ShortSummary = Gardening Time. Oliver has something to show from his gardening efforts.<br />
| LineColor = b2aba1<br />
}}<br />
{{Episode list<br />
| EpisodeNumber = 42<br />
| EpisodeNumber2 = 6<br />
| Title = Fasten Your Seat Belts!<br />
| DirectedBy = Robert Reed<br />
| WrittenBy = Vince Powell<br />
| OriginalAirDate = {{Start date|1988|03|02|df=y}}<br />
| ShortSummary = Simon & Oliver get severely drunk on Simon's birthday, and decide to visit their children in Canada.<br />
| LineColor = b2aba1<br />
}}<br />
}}<br />
<br />
===Series 8 (1988)===<br />
{{Episode table |background=#404a53 |overall=5 |season=5 |title=22 |director=18 |writer=18 |airdate=18 |episodes=<br />
<br />
{{Episode list<br />
| EpisodeNumber = 43<br />
| EpisodeNumber2 = 1<br />
| Title = Grandfathers-in-Law<br />
| DirectedBy = Douglas Argent<br />
| WrittenBy = Johnnie Mortimer<br />
| OriginalAirDate = {{Start date|1988|10|24|df=y}}<br />
| ShortSummary = Lyn and David, with their baby Martin, return from Canada, causing great excitement to Simon and Oliver. However, the grandfathers have to learn to cope with the baby more than they had anticipated.<br />
| LineColor = 404a53<br />
}}<br />
{{Episode list<br />
| EpisodeNumber = 44<br />
| EpisodeNumber2 = 2<br />
| Title = Nursery Times<br />
| DirectedBy = Douglas Argent<br />
| WrittenBy = Johnnie Mortimer<br />
| OriginalAirDate = {{Start date|1988|10|31|df=y}}<br />
| ShortSummary = Lyn and David are looking for a flat while staying at Simon's house. But Oliver would like them to stay with him too.<br />
| LineColor = 404a53<br />
}}<br />
{{Episode list<br />
| EpisodeNumber = 45<br />
| EpisodeNumber2 = 3<br />
| Title = Whose Baby?<br />
| DirectedBy = Douglas Argent<br />
| WrittenBy = Johnnie Mortimer<br />
| OriginalAirDate = {{Start date|1988|11|07|df=y}}<br />
| ShortSummary = The christening is scheduled and Stephanie, Simon's ex, is invited, causing anxiety for both Simon and Oliver.<br />
| LineColor = 404a53<br />
}}<br />
{{Episode list<br />
| EpisodeNumber = 46<br />
| EpisodeNumber2 = 4<br />
| Title = Never Say Die<br />
| DirectedBy = Douglas Argent<br />
| WrittenBy = Vince Powell<br />
| OriginalAirDate = {{Start date|1988|11|14|df=y}}<br />
| ShortSummary = Simon has to go into hospital but confusion arises.<br />
| LineColor = 404a53<br />
}}<br />
{{Episode list<br />
| EpisodeNumber = 47<br />
| EpisodeNumber2 = 5<br />
| Title = Moving On<br />
| DirectedBy = Douglas Argent<br />
| WrittenBy = Johnnie Mortimer<br />
| OriginalAirDate = {{Start date|1988|11|21|df=y}}<br />
| ShortSummary = The house-hunting by Lyn and David reaches a conclusion. It causes Simon and Oliver to think about their own situation.<br />
| LineColor = 404a53<br />
}}<br />
{{Episode list<br />
| EpisodeNumber = 48<br />
| EpisodeNumber2 = 6<br />
| Title = It's A Long Way to Friern Barnet<br />
| DirectedBy = Douglas Argent<br />
| WrittenBy = Johnnie Mortimer<br />
| OriginalAirDate = {{Start date|1988|11|28|df=y}}<br />
| ShortSummary = Lyn and David move to their new flat. Oliver and Simon decide to help them by redecorating the flat.<br />
| LineColor = 404a53<br />
}}<br />
}}<br />
<br />
===Series 9 (1989)===<br />
{{Episode table |background=#000 |overall=5 |season=5 |title=22 |director=18 |writer=18 |airdate=18 |episodes=<br />
<br />
{{Episode list<br />
| EpisodeNumber = 49<br />
| EpisodeNumber2 = 1<br />
| Title = Just the Ticket<br />
| DirectedBy = Nick Hurran<br />
| WrittenBy = Vince Powell<br />
| OriginalAirDate = {{Start date|1989|09|06|df=y}}<br />
| ShortSummary = A series of mishaps contribute to a difficult day for Simon and, especially, Oliver.<br />
| LineColor = 000<br />
}}<br />
{{Episode list<br />
| EpisodeNumber = 50<br />
| EpisodeNumber2 = 2<br />
| Title = A Point of Honour<br />
| DirectedBy = Nick Hurran<br />
| WrittenBy = Vince Powell<br />
| OriginalAirDate = {{Start date|1989|09|13|df=y}}<br />
| ShortSummary = Simon advertises for an assistant for his shop but runs into trouble after interviewing one applicant.<br />
| LineColor = 000<br />
}}<br />
{{Episode list<br />
| EpisodeNumber = 51<br />
| EpisodeNumber2 = 3<br />
| Title = A New Lease of Life<br />
| DirectedBy = Nick Hurran<br />
| WrittenBy = Vince Powell<br />
| OriginalAirDate = {{Start date|1989|09|20|df=y}}<br />
| ShortSummary = Simon is feeling melancholic and decides to make a big change to his life.<br />
| LineColor = 000<br />
}}<br />
{{Episode list<br />
| EpisodeNumber = 52<br />
| EpisodeNumber2 = 4<br />
| Title = Aspects of Love<br />
| DirectedBy = Nick Hurran<br />
| WrittenBy = Vince Powell<br />
| OriginalAirDate = {{Start date|1989|09|27|df=y}}<br />
| ShortSummary = Simon arouses Oliver's suspicions and, in turn, Oliver is the subject of a rumour. These lead to gossip in the village.<br />
| LineColor = 000<br />
}}<br />
{{Episode list<br />
| EpisodeNumber = 53<br />
| EpisodeNumber2 = 5<br />
| Title = Neighbours<br />
| DirectedBy = Nick Hurran<br />
| WrittenBy = Vince Powell<br />
| OriginalAirDate = {{Start date|1989|10|04|df=y}}<br />
| ShortSummary = Simon holds a meeting of the Residents' Association. There is a new resident who is about to move in and this leads to a sleepless night for both Simon and Oliver.<br />
| LineColor = 000<br />
}}<br />
{{Episode list<br />
| EpisodeNumber = 54<br />
| EpisodeNumber2 = 6<br />
| Title = Bonjour, Paris!<br />
| DirectedBy = Nick Hurran<br />
| WrittenBy = Vince Powell<br />
| OriginalAirDate = {{Start date|1989|10|11|df=y}}<br />
| ShortSummary = Off to Paris but soon they are in trouble at the restaurant and with the police, also causing a lot of trouble to an embassy official.<br />
| LineColor = 000<br />
}}<br />
}}<br />
<br />
===Christmas Special (1989)===<br />
{{Episode table |background=#8B0000 |overall=5 |season=5 |title=22 |director=18 |writer=18 |airdate=18 |episodes=<br />
<br />
{{Episode list<br />
| EpisodeNumber = 55<br />
| EpisodeNumber2 = 7<br />
| Title = A Winter's Tale<br />
| DirectedBy = Nick Hurran<br />
| WrittenBy = Vince Powell<br />
| OriginalAirDate = {{Start date|1989|12|28|df=y}}<br />
| ShortSummary = Christmas time. Simon and Oliver volunteer to keep watch overnight in the local church.<br />
| LineColor = 8B0000<br />
}}<br />
}}<br />
<br />
===Series 10 (1990)===<br />
{{Episode table |background=#243048 |overall=5 |season=5 |title=22 |director=18 |writer=18 |airdate=18 |episodes=<br />
<br />
{{Episode list<br />
| EpisodeNumber = 56<br />
| EpisodeNumber2 = 1<br />
| Title = X Marks the Spot<br />
| DirectedBy = Nick Hurran<br />
| WrittenBy = Vince Powell<br />
| OriginalAirDate = {{Start date|1990|09|05|df=y}}<br />
| ShortSummary = Oliver and Simon both decide to stand for election to the local Council.<br />
| LineColor = 243048<br />
}}<br />
{{Episode list<br />
| EpisodeNumber = 57<br />
| EpisodeNumber2 = 2<br />
| Title = S.W.A.L.K.<br />
| DirectedBy = Nick Hurran<br />
| WrittenBy = Vince Powell<br />
| OriginalAirDate = {{Start date|1990|09|12|df=y}}<br />
| ShortSummary = Simon has a female pen-pal who he is looking forward to meeting, with a view to marriage. However, the reality is different.<br />
| LineColor = 243048<br />
}}<br />
{{Episode list<br />
| EpisodeNumber = 58<br />
| EpisodeNumber2 = 3<br />
| Title = Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?<br />
| DirectedBy = Nick Hurran<br />
| WrittenBy = Vince Powell<br />
| OriginalAirDate = {{Start date|1990|09|19|df=y}}<br />
| ShortSummary = Both Oliver and Simon are doing the pools and hope to win big. After Oliver makes a mistake, Simon takes the opportunity to have some fun.<br />
| LineColor = 243048<br />
}}<br />
{{Episode list<br />
| EpisodeNumber = 59<br />
| EpisodeNumber2 = 4<br />
| Title = Happy Holiday<br />
| DirectedBy = Nick Hurran<br />
| WrittenBy = Vince Powell<br />
| OriginalAirDate = {{Start date|1990|09|26|df=y}}<br />
| ShortSummary = A weekend away for Simon and Oliver in Ringo's mother's country cottage. Trouble is that it's the wrong weekend.<br />
| LineColor = 243048<br />
}}<br />
{{Episode list<br />
| EpisodeNumber = 60<br />
| EpisodeNumber2 = 5<br />
| Title = There But for the Grace of God<br />
| DirectedBy = Nick Hurran<br />
| WrittenBy = Vince Powell<br />
| OriginalAirDate = {{Start date|1990|10|03|df=y}}<br />
| ShortSummary = Simon comes across an old acquaintance who is down on their luck.<br />
| LineColor = 243048<br />
}}<br />
{{Episode list<br />
| EpisodeNumber = 61<br />
| EpisodeNumber2 = 6<br />
| Title = A Car By Any Other Name<br />
| DirectedBy = Nick Hurran<br />
| WrittenBy = Vince Powell<br />
| OriginalAirDate = {{Start date|1990|10|10|df=y}}<br />
| ShortSummary = The vicar wants to sell his car and gets Simon to help, while Oliver is also selling his car. A confusing time is the result.<br />
| LineColor = 243048<br />
}}<br />
}}<br />
<br />
===Series 11 (1991)===<br />
{{Episode table |background=#b49366 |overall=5 |season=5 |title=22 |director=18 |writer=18 |airdate=18 |episodes=<br />
<br />
{{Episode list<br />
| EpisodeNumber = 62<br />
| EpisodeNumber2 = 1<br />
| Title = Viva Espana!<br />
| DirectedBy = Anthony Parker<br />
| WrittenBy = Vince Powell<br />
| OriginalAirDate = {{Start date|1991|09|04|df=y}}<br />
| ShortSummary = Ringo wins a holiday in a competition and they all go to Spain.<br />
| LineColor = b49366<br />
}}<br />
{{Episode list<br />
| EpisodeNumber = 63<br />
| EpisodeNumber2 = 2<br />
| Title = The Best Laid Plans<br />
| DirectedBy = Anthony Parker<br />
| WrittenBy = Vince Powell<br />
| OriginalAirDate = {{Start date|1991|09|11|df=y}}<br />
| ShortSummary = It is the 10th anniversary of the two antique dealers being in business; they decide to go out to have a meal and visit the theatre. But they encounter some difficulties.<br />
| LineColor = b49366<br />
}}<br />
{{Episode list<br />
| EpisodeNumber = 64<br />
| EpisodeNumber2 = 3<br />
| Title = Born Again<br />
| DirectedBy = Anthony Parker<br />
| WrittenBy = Vince Powell<br />
| OriginalAirDate = {{Start date|1991|09|18|df=y}}<br />
| ShortSummary = Simon is searching for the meaning of life and thinks he has found it after listening to a preacher in the park. Oliver, however, sees a business opportunity.<br />
| LineColor = b49366<br />
}}<br />
{{Episode list<br />
| EpisodeNumber = 65<br />
| EpisodeNumber2 = 4<br />
| Title = There Goes the Bride!<br />
| DirectedBy = Anthony Parker<br />
| WrittenBy = Vince Powell<br />
| OriginalAirDate = {{Start date|1991|09|25|df=y}}<br />
| ShortSummary = Aunt Eleanor decides to get married after a whirlwind romance.<br />
| LineColor = b49366<br />
}}<br />
{{Episode list<br />
| EpisodeNumber = 66<br />
| EpisodeNumber2 = 5<br />
| Title = Two Fools and Their Money<br />
| DirectedBy = Anthony Parker<br />
| WrittenBy = Vince Powell<br />
| OriginalAirDate = {{Start date|1991|10|02|df=y}}<br />
| ShortSummary = Both Simon and Oliver are in financial difficulties and decide to approach their bank manager.<br />
| LineColor = b49366<br />
}}<br />
{{Episode list<br />
| EpisodeNumber = 67<br />
| EpisodeNumber2 = 6<br />
| Title = The First of the Queue<br />
| DirectedBy = Anthony Parker<br />
| WrittenBy = Vince Powell<br />
| OriginalAirDate = {{Start date|1991|10|09|df=y}}<br />
| ShortSummary = Oliver tells Simon about a bargain in a shop, which leads to extraordinary efforts by the two to be first in the queue to buy it. Guest starring Diana Mahoney, real-life wife of Donald Sindon. <br />
| LineColor = b49366<br />
}}<br />
}}<br />
<br />
==References==<br />
{{reflist}}<br />
<br />
==External links==<br />
* {{Epguides|NevertheTwain|Never the Twain|list=yes}}<br />
* {{IMDb episodes|0081907|Never the Twain}}<br />
<br />
{{DEFAULTSORT:Never the Twain}}<br />
[[Category:Lists of British sitcom episodes]]<br />
[[Category:ITV-related lists]]</div>2.28.199.59https://www.thegoonshow.co.uk/wiki/index.php?title=Morecambe_and_Wise&diff=11426Morecambe and Wise2022-07-28T12:24:48Z<p>2.28.199.59: /* Catchphrases and visual gags */Added content</p>
<hr />
<div>{{Short description|Comedy double act}}<br />
{{Use dmy dates|date=August 2014}}<br />
{{EngvarB|date=August 2014}}<br />
{{redirect|M&W|the gear company|M&W Gear Co}}<br />
{{Infobox comedian<br />
| name= Morecambe and Wise<br />
| image= Morecambe-&-wise skip-dance.jpg<br />
| caption=Morecambe (left) & Wise in their classic "skip dance" pose, performed to the song "[[Bring Me Sunshine]]"<br />
| birth_date= {{ubl|'''John Eric Bartholomew''': {{Birth date|1926|5|14|df=y}}, [[Morecambe]], [[Lancashire]], England|'''Ernest Wiseman''': {{Birth date|1925|11|27|df=y}}, [[Bramley, Leeds|Bramley]], [[West Riding of Yorkshire]], England}}<br />
| death_date= {{ubl|{{Death date and age|1984|5|28|df=yes|1926|5|14}}, [[Cheltenham General Hospital]], [[Gloucestershire]], England|{{Death date and age|1999|3|21|1925|11|27|df=yes}}, [[Wexham]], [[Buckinghamshire]], England}}<br />
| medium=Film, television, stand-up, music, books<br />
| nationality=<br />
| active= 1941–1984<br />
| genre= [[Observational comedy]], [[musical comedy]], [[satire]]<br />
| subject= [[Marriage]], [[everyday life]], [[current events]], [[popular culture|pop culture]]<br />
| influences=<br />
| spouse=<br />
| domesticpartner=<br />
| othername=<br />
| notable_work=<br />
| website=<br />
}}<br />
<br />
'''[[Eric Morecambe]]''' ('''John Eric Bartholomew''', 14 May 1926 – 28 May 1984) and '''[[Ernie Wise]]''' ('''Ernest Wiseman''', 27 November 1925 – 21 March 1999), known as '''Morecambe and Wise''' (and sometimes as '''Eric and Ernie'''), were an English comic [[double act]], working in variety, radio, film and most successfully in television. Their partnership lasted from 1941 until Morecambe's death in 1984. They have been described as "the most illustrious, and the best-loved, double-act that Britain has ever produced".<ref>{{Harvnb|McCann|1999|p=4}}</ref><br />
<br />
In a list of the [[100 Greatest British Television Programmes]] drawn up by the [[British Film Institute]] in 2000, voted for by industry professionals, ''[[The Morecambe & Wise Show (1968–1977)|The Morecambe and Wise Show]]'' was placed 14th. In September 2006, they were voted by the general public as number 2 in a poll of [[TV's 50 Greatest Stars]]. Their early career was the subject of the 2011 television biopic ''[[Eric and Ernie]]'', and their 1970s career was the subject of the television biopic ''[[Eric, Ernie and Me]]'' in 2017.<br />
<br />
In 1976, Morecambe and Wise were both awarded the [[Order of the British Empire|OBE]]. In 1999, they were posthumously awarded the [[BAFTA Fellowship]]. In 2013, they were honoured with a [[blue plaque]] at [[Teddington Studios]], where their last four series of ''The Morecambe and Wise Show'' were recorded.<ref name="bp">{{cite web |url=https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-22588173 |title=Morecambe and Wise blue plaque unveiled at Teddington Studios |publisher=BBC |date=19 May 2013 |access-date=19 May 2013}}</ref><br />
<br />
==History==<br />
Morecambe and Wise's friendship began in 1940 when they were each booked separately to appear in [[Jack Hylton]]'s revue ''Youth Takes a Bow'' at the Nottingham Empire Theatre. At the suggestion of Eric's mother, Sadie, they worked on a double act. They made their double act debut in August 1941 at the Liverpool Empire. War service broke up the act but they reunited by chance at the [[Swansea]] Empire Theatre in 1946 when they joined forces again. They made their name in variety, appearing in a variety circus, the [[Windmill Theatre]], the [[Glasgow Empire Theatre|Glasgow Empire]] and many venues around Britain.<ref>These were all referred to in the drama "[[Eric and Ernie]]", broadcast 1 January 2011.</ref> After this they also made their name in radio, transferring to television in 1954. Their debut TV show, ''[[Running Wild (1954 TV series)|Running Wild]]'', was not well received and led to a damning newspaper review: "Definition of the week: TV set — the box in which they buried Morecambe and Wise." Eric apparently carried a copy of this review around with him ever afterward, and from then on the duo kept a tight control over their material. In 1956 they were offered a spot in the [[Winifred Atwell]] show with material written by [[Johnny Speight]] and this was a success. In 1959 they topped the bill in BBC TV's long-running variety show ''[[The Good Old Days (UK TV series)|The Good Old Days]]'' in a [[Boxing Day]] edition of the programme. In later years the pair would become a Christmas TV institution in their own right.<br />
<br />
They had a series of shows that spanned over twenty years, during which time they developed and honed their act, most notably after moving to the BBC in 1968, where they were to be teamed with their long-term writer [[Eddie Braben]]. It is this period of their careers that is widely regarded as their "glory days". Their shows were:<br />
* ''[[Running Wild (1954 TV series)|Running Wild]]'' (BBC, 1954) (Various writers)<br />
* ''[[Two of a Kind (UK TV series)|Two of a Kind]]'' ([[Associated TeleVision|ATV]], 1961–68) (Writers: Hills and Green)<br />
* ''[[The Morecambe & Wise Show (1968 TV series)|The Morecambe & Wise Show]]'' (BBC, 1968–77) (Writers: Hills and Green (1968), Eddie Braben (1969–77))<br />
* ''[[The Morecambe & Wise Show (1978 TV series)|The Morecambe & Wise Show]]'' ([[Thames Television]], 1978–83) (writers: [[Barry Cryer]] and [[John Junkin]] (1978), Eddie Braben (1980–83))<br />
* ''[[The Eric Morecambe and Ernie Wise Show]]'' (BBC Radio 2, 1975–78. Writer: Eddie Braben)<br />
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The pair starred in three feature films during the 1960s — ''[[The Intelligence Men]]'' (1965), ''[[That Riviera Touch]]'' (1966), and ''[[The Magnificent Two]]'' (1967). In 1983 they made their last film, ''[[Night Train To Murder]]''. They were also guests on many television variety series; however, it was in a US series that they appeared as guests most frequently, featuring twelve times on ''[[The Ed Sullivan Show]]'' between 1963 and 1968 - more than any other British entertainers. The duo were featured in a comic book in 1977.<ref>{{cite web|url=http://www.morecambeandwise.com/viewpage.aspx?pageid=191 |title=The Morecambe & Wise Comic Book |publisher=morecambeandwise.com |date= |accessdate=2022-01-18}}</ref><br />
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==Style and performance==<br />
Morecambe and Wise started as a song-and-dance comedic team, with Morecambe playing the more bumbling comic role and Wise the affable straight man, but over time (and with new writers) the nature of the act changed. By the 1960s, the characters were more complex, with both Morecambe and Wise playing comedic characters who could set up each other for laughs, as well as garner big laughs with their many catchphrases, character bits and reactions. In essence, the straight man/wacky comic dynamic shifted, so that both men were equally capable of fulfilling either role. In the later and most successful part of their career, which spanned the 1970s, Morecambe and Wise were joined behind the scenes by [[Eddie Braben]], a script writer who generated almost all their material (Morecambe and Wise were also sometimes credited as supplying "additional material") and defined what is now thought of as typical Morecambe and Wise humour. Together Morecambe, Wise and Braben were known as "The Golden Triangle", becoming one of the UK's all-time favourite comedy acts.<br />
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[[John Ammonds]] was also central to the duo's most successful period in the 1970s. As the producer of the BBC TV shows, it was his idea to involve celebrity guests. He also perfected the duo's familiar dance, which was based on a dance performed by [[Groucho Marx]] in the film ''[[Horse Feathers]]''.<ref>{{Harvnb|McCann|1999|p=224}}</ref><br />
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[[Ernest Maxin]] started choreographing the musical numbers in 1970, and succeeded John Ammonds as producer of the BBC TV shows in 1974. Maxin, who won a BAFTA for the Best Light Entertainment Show for the Morecambe and Wise 1977 Christmas Show, was also responsible for devising and choreographing many of their great musical comedy routines including "The Breakfast Sketch", "Singin' in the Rain", and the homage to South Pacific, "There is Nothing Like a Dame" featuring BBC newsreaders in an acrobatic dance routine.<br />
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===Catchphrases and visual gags===<br />
Much of the material of the Morecambe and Wise shows consisted of their well-worn catch phrases that recurred like motifs throughout their career. Barely a show would go by without Eric referring to Ernie's "short, fat, hairy legs",<ref name="DCP">{{cite book|last=Partridge|first=Eric|author-link=Eric Partridge|title=A dictionary of catch phrases: British and American, from the sixteenth century to the present day|publisher=Routledge|year=1986}}</ref> or pointing out that "you can't see the join", where Ernie's supposed wig was attached. The wig sometimes appeared in the credits, with variations on "Mr Wise appears by kind permission of Rentawig". Eric never seemed to tire of offering his partner some "Tea, Ern?". This was a pun on "[[tea urn]]", a vessel for serving hot drinks used in workplaces. If anyone fluffed their line, Eric would usually say, "That's easy for you to say!" or "You can say that again". When Ernie disagreed with him, Eric would say, "Just watch it, that's all!"; often said by Eric when grabbing Ernie by the lapels.<ref name="DCP"/> If someone said a line whilst he was looking at somebody else, Eric would say, "You said that without moving your lips"; as if the non-speaker were a [[ventriloquist]] throwing his or her voice. Another ventriloquial allusion (probably quoting [[Arthur Worsley]]) was made when Eric said, should his intended listener be looking away, "Look at me when I'm talking to you!".<br />
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Some catch phrases developed from earlier sketches. When Eric played an incompetent 'Mr Memory', unable to remember anything without unsubtle prompting from Ernie, Ernie prompted Eric with "Arsenal!" disguised very badly as a cough. Later, whenever Ernie, or anyone else, coughed or sneezed, Eric would shout "Arsenal!".<ref name="Tynan">{{cite book|last=Tynan|first=Kenneth|author-link=Kenneth Tynan|title=The sound of two hands clapping|url=https://archive.org/details/soundoftwohandsc00tyna|url-access=registration|publisher=Holt, Rinehart, and Winston|year=1976|page=[https://archive.org/details/soundoftwohandsc00tyna/page/71 71]|isbn=9780030167263}}</ref><br />
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The catchphrase "Hello folks, and what about the workers?" was developed by Eric from a similar saying by [[Harry Secombe]] in [[The Goon Show]].<ref name="DCP"/> For Secombe this was a simple greeting, while for Eric it expressed his great sexual interest in some pretty girl or female guest. It was often accompanied by him slapping the back of his own neck to recover his concentration.<br />
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Their treatment of their guest stars was terrible for effect. Eric and sometimes Ernie would often call an invited guest by the wrong name. So [[André Previn]] was "Andrew Preview", [[Ian Carmichael]] was [[Hoagy Carmichael]], [[Elton John]] was Elephant John, [[Vanessa Redgrave]] was "Vanilla Redgrave" and when [[The Beatles]] appeared, [[Ringo Starr]] was "Bongo". Alternatively, one or both would seem not to recognise the famous guest artist at all. The pair would frequently make fun of their old friend, the singer and entertainer [[Des O'Connor]] in various disparaging ways.<ref>[https://books.google.co.uk/books?id=YD_Gvc5aAGYC&dq=%22like+what+i+have+got%22+wise&q=des+variety+public#v=snippet&q=des%20variety%20public&f=false Sellers & Hogg].</ref> A rhyming example was: "If you want me to be a goner, get me an LP by Des O'Connor". Another typical example was "There's only one thing wrong with Des O'Connor records. The hole in the middle isn't big enough". O'Connor actually appeared in the 1975 Christmas special and eavesdropped on these insults before Eric and Ernie noticed him. In reality some of these put-downs were suggested by Des himself.<br />
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Many of their catch phrases entered the language. Particularly when they were at their peak, people could be heard using them for humorous effect. The question: "What do you think of it so far?", said by Eric, who would use a prop—such as a statue or stuffed toy—to answer: "Rubbish!", was frequently heard.<ref name="DCP"/> Morecambe said later that whenever Luton Town were playing away and he happened to be in the director's box, if Luton were behind at half-time the home fans would shout, "What do you think of it so far?". Other examples were: "There's no answer to that!", which was said by Eric after anything which could be construed as innuendo.<ref>{{cite book|last=Fergusson|first=R.|title=Shorter dictionary of catch phrases|publisher=Routledge|year=1994}}</ref> He would also say "Pardon?" for a similar effect.<br />
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Schoolboys could be seen holding an open hand underneath a friend's chin while saying, "Get out of that!". When Eric did this to Ernie, it was meant to be a karate move that incapacitated the victim. It was often followed by "You can't, can you?". Also common was, "They can't touch you for it" (i.e., it is not illegal); a comment following a slightly obscure word, turning it into a [[double entendre]]. In addition, Eric would say "Be honest" directly to the audience if they had carried out what he thought was a particularly successful routine. If Ernie received a little applause for something, Eric would say "I see your fan's in", and whenever the doorbell rang in their shared flat, Eric would say to Ernie, "How do you do that?"<br />
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Another long-running - usually incomplete - gag was when Eric begins a story, ‘There were two old men sitting in deckchairs. One turns to the other and says, “It’s nice out today”’. Ernie usually closed down the gag at that point as it was obviously heading for a rude punchline. Occasionally, however, he would close it with "Well, put it away, there's a Policeman coming!" In a Christmas special when the duo were being interviewed by Sir David Frost, Eric concluded the story with "You're right, I think I'll get mine out".<br />
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During the shows in which Ernie's execrable plays were shown, a catch phrase for Ernie was developed. This was, "The play what I wrote", which also was used commonly elsewhere.<ref>{{cite book|last=Cunliffe|first=A. L.|title=A Very Short, Fairly Interesting and Reasonably Cheap Book about Management|publisher=Sage Publications|year=2009|page=63|isbn=9781412935470|url=https://books.google.com/books?id=HzobtQOvxNAC&q=%22Morecambe+and+Wise%22+catch+phrases&pg=PA63}}</ref> Guest stars were conned into taking part in these plays and made to utter such grammatical monstrosities as when [[Glenda Jackson]] (at the time a noted [[William Shakespeare|Shakespearean]] actress) had to say, "All men are fools and what makes them so is having beauty, like what I have got", to the obvious smug satisfaction of the words' supposed author.<ref>Sellers & Hogg,[https://books.google.co.uk/books?id=YD_Gvc5aAGYC&pg=PT181&dq=%22like+what+i+have+got%22+wise&hl=en&sa=X&ei=QMyXVNebLsb1UJ-PgqAL&ved=0CD8Q6AEwBQ#v=onepage&q=%22like%20what%20i%20have%20got%22%20wise&f=false Ch. 25].</ref><br />
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Several visual gags were often repeated:<br />
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Very frequently used, and copied by the public, was Eric slapping the shoulders and then both sides of Ernie's face. A particular affectation of Eric was him putting his glasses askew or waggling them up and down on his nose. As with André Previn, if they appeared uncooperative, Eric would grab a guest by the lapels and pull them to his face in a threatening manner. He would also grimace like [[Humphrey Bogart]] (or so he thought) if Ernie or a guest was particularly challenging.<br />
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Eric would often hold an empty paper bag in one hand, throw an imaginary coin, or other small object, into the air, watch it during its flight and then flick the bag with his finger giving the impression that the item had landed in the bag. Again, he would hold a [[paper cup]] in his mouth and over his nose to perform a brief impersonation of [[Jimmy Durante]], singing, 'Sitting at my pianna the udder day...'<br />
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Ernie would appear on a curtained stage expecting Eric to join him from behind the curtain, but Eric would be unable to find the opening and have to fight his way on. This gag could be reversed with Eric trying to fight his way off, often asking Ernie if he had a key to unlock the curtain. Another curtain gag would have Eric standing in front of the stage curtains or at the side of the stage and pretending that an arm (his own) comes out from behind the curtain and seizes him by the throat. If Eric had his back to a guest, he would jerk his body as if the guest had goosed him.<br />
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Often, Eric would suddenly notice the camera and put on a fixed, cheesy grin. Ernie would frequently notice him doing this, stand behind Eric and grin a similar grin into the camera, over Eric's shoulder. Eric and Ernie would introduce the special guest facing stage-left with their arms out. However, the guest would enter from stage-right. Also, at the end of several shows, the duo would exit the stage by skipping while putting alternate hands behind their heads and backs.<br />
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==Television series==<br />
Typical Morecambe and Wise programmes were effectively [[sketch comedy|sketch]] shows crossed with a sitcom. The duo would usually open the show as themselves on a mock stage in front of curtains emblazoned with an M and W logo. Morecambe and Wise's comic style varied subtly throughout their career, depending on their writers. Their writers during most of the 1960s, [[Dick Hills and Sid Green]], took a relatively straightforward approach, depicting Eric as an aggressive, knockabout comedian and Ernie as an essentially conventional and somewhat disapproving straight man. When Eddie Braben took over as writer, he made the relationship considerably deeper and more complex. The critic [[Kenneth Tynan]] noted that, with Braben as writer, Morecambe and Wise had a unique dynamic—Ernie was a comedian who wasn't funny, while Eric was a straight man who was funny.<ref>{{Harvnb|Tynan|2007|p=231}}</ref> The Ernie persona became simultaneously more egotistical and more naïve. Morecambe pointed out that Braben wrote him as "tougher, less gormless, harder towards Ern."<ref>{{Harvnb|Tynan|2007|p=230}}</ref> Wise's contribution to the humour is a subject of an ongoing debate. To the end of his life he would always reject interviewers' suggestions that he was the straight man, preferring to call himself the song-and-dance man. However, Wise's skill and dedication was essential to their joint success, and Tynan praised Wise's performance as "unselfish, ebullient and indispensable".<ref>{{Harvnb|Tynan|2007|p=225}}</ref><br />
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A central concept was that the duo lived together as close, long-term friends (there were many references to a childhood friendship) who shared not merely a [[apartment|flat]] but also a bed—although their relationship was purely platonic and merely continued a tradition of comic partners sleeping in the same bed that had begun with [[Laurel and Hardy]]. Morecambe was initially uncomfortable with the bed-sharing sketches, but changed his mind upon being reminded of the Laurel and Hardy precedent; however, he still insisted on smoking his pipe in the bed scenes "for the masculinity". The front room of the flat and also the bedroom were used frequently throughout the show episodes, although Braben would also transplant the duo into various external situations, such as a [[health food store|health food shop]] or a bank. Many references were made to Ernie's supposed meanness with money and drink.<br />
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Another concept of the shows during the Braben era was Ernie's utterly confident presentation of amateurishly inept plays "wot I wrote". This allowed for another kind of sketch: the staged historical drama, which usually parodied genuine historical television plays or films (such as ''[[Stalag 17]]'', ''[[Antony and Cleopatra]]'', or Napoleon and Josephine). Wise's character would write a play, complete with cheap props, shaky scenery and appallingly clumsy writing ("the play what I wrote" became a catchphrase), which would then be acted out by Morecambe, Wise and the show's guest star. Guests who participated included many big names of the 1970s and 1980s, such as Dame [[Flora Robson]], [[Penelope Keith]], [[Laurence Olivier]], Sir [[John Mills]], [[Vanessa Redgrave]], [[Eric Porter]], [[Peter Cushing]] (who in a running gag would keep turning up to complain that he had not been paid for an earlier appearance) and [[Frank Finlay]]—as well as [[Glenda Jackson]] (as Cleopatra: "All men are fools. And what makes them so is having beauty like what I have got..."). Jackson had not previously been known as a comedian and this appearance led to her Oscar-winning role in ''[[A Touch of Class (film)|A Touch of Class]]''. Morecambe and Wise would often pretend not to have heard of their guest, or would appear to confuse them with someone else (former UK Prime Minister [[Harold Wilson]] returned the favour, when appearing as a guest at the duo's flat, by referring to Morecambe as "Mor-e-cam-by"). Also noteworthy was the occasion when the respected BBC newsreader [[Angela Rippon]] was induced to show her legs in a dance number (she had trained as a ballet dancer before she became a journalist and TV presenter). Braben later said that a large amount of the duo's humour was based on irreverence. A running gag in a number of shows was a short sequence showing a well-known artist in close-up saying "I appeared in an Ernie Wise play, and look what happened to me!". The camera would then pull back and show the artist doing some low-status job such as newspaper seller ([[Ian Carmichael]]), Underground guard ([[Fenella Fielding]]), dustman ([[Eric Porter]]), bus conductor ([[André Previn]]), or some other ill-paid employment. However, celebrities felt they had received the highest accolade in showbusiness by being invited to appear in "an Ernest Wide play" as Ernie once mispronounced it during a show's introduction involving "Vanilla" (Vanessa) Redgrave.<br />
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As a carry-over from their music hall days, Eric and Ernie sang and danced at the end of each show, although they were forced to abandon this practice when Morecambe's heart condition prevented him from dancing. The solution was that Eric would walk across the stage with coat and bag, ostensibly to wait for his bus, while Ernie danced by himself. Their peculiar skipping dance, devised by their BBC producer [[John Ammonds]], was a modified form of a dance used by [[Groucho Marx]]. Their signature tune was ''[[Bring Me Sunshine]]''. They either sang this at the end of each show or it was used as a theme tune during the credits (although in their BBC shows they used other songs as well, notably "Following You Around", "Positive Thinking" "Don't You Agree" and "Just Around the Corner"). A standard gag at the end of each show was for [[Janet Webb]] to appear behind the pair, walk to the front of the stage and push them out of her way. She would then recite:<br />
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{{Quote|I'd like to thank you for watching me and my little show here tonight. If you've enjoyed it then it's all been worthwhile. So until we meet again, goodnight, and I love you all!}}<br />
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Webb was never announced, and seldom appeared in their shows in any other role. According to a BBC documentary, this was a parody of [[George Formby]]'s wife who used to come on stage to take the bows with him at the end of a show.{{citation needed|date=April 2014|reason=I have this on YouTube here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L5U3FcGfHcg at about 1h:32 But that is probably not RS}}<br />
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Another running gag involved an old colleague from their music hall days, harmonica player [[Arthur Tolcher]]. Arthur would keep appearing on the stage in evening wear and would play the opening bars of "[[España cañí]]" on his harmonica, only to be told "Not now, Arthur!" At the very end of the show, following the final credit, Arthur would sneak on stage and begin to play, only for the screen to cut to black.<br />
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In June 2007, the BBC released a DVD of surviving material from their first series in 1968, and the complete second series from 1969. In November 2011, Network DVD released the complete, uncut 13 episodes of the second ATV series of ''Two of a Kind'' from 1962. It was advertised as the first series due to the fact the original first series is completely missing from television archives.<br />
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In 2020, a black and white copy of an episode from October 1970, believed lost, was found in the attic of Morecambe's widow. It was restored for re-broadcast at Christmas 2021.<ref>{{Cite web|url=https://www.bbc.com/news/entertainment-arts-59599741|title=Morecambe and Wise: Rediscovered episode to air on BBC Two|date=23 December 2021|via=www.bbc.co.uk}}</ref><br />
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===Christmas specials===<br />
With the exception of 1974, the show had end-of-year Christmas specials, which became some of the highest-rated TV programmes of the era. Braben has said that people judged the quality of their Christmas experience on the quality of the ''Morecambe and Wise Christmas Special''. From 1969 until 1980, except 1974, the shows were always broadcast on Christmas Day. Due to Eric Morecambe's heart attack, Christmas Day 1974 featured a highlights package of clips from previous shows rather than a new programme, introduced by [[Michael Parkinson]], including a newly recorded interview with Morecambe & Wise.<ref>{{Cite web|url=https://genome.ch.bbc.co.uk/4f85068066f84e37b1dfc810cc09897b|title=BBC Programme Index|website=genome.ch.bbc.co.uk}}</ref><br />
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The Morecambe and Wise Christmas Show on BBC in 1977 scored one of the highest ever audiences in British television history with more than 20 million viewers (the cited figure varies between 21 and 28 million, depending on the source).<ref>''[[The Guinness Book of Records]]''.</ref><ref>{{cite web|url=http://www.morecambeandwise.com/viewpage.aspx?pageid=331|title=Eric and Ern – The Morecambe & Wise Show: Series 8|work=Morecambeandwise.com|access-date=24 August 2011}}</ref><ref>{{cite news|url=https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/obituaries/5900988/Ernie-Wise.html|archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20100325200559/http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/obituaries/5900988/Ernie-Wise.html|url-status=dead|archive-date=25 March 2010|title=Ernie Wise|newspaper=[[The Daily Telegraph]]|date=22 March 1999|access-date=24 August 2011}}</ref><ref>{{cite news|last=Barfe|first=Louis|date=22 November 2008|url=https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/celebritynews/3503100/How-John-Sergeant-revived-did-you-see-TV.html |archive-url=https://ghostarchive.org/archive/20220112/https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/celebritynews/3503100/How-John-Sergeant-revived-did-you-see-TV.html |archive-date=12 January 2022 |url-access=subscription |url-status=live|title=How John Sergeant revived did-you-see TV|newspaper=The Daily Telegraph|access-date=24 August 2011}}{{cbignore}}</ref><ref>{{cite web|last=Bushby|first=Helen|date=30 December 2010|url=https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-11768311|work=[[BBC News]]|title=Victoria Wood tells all about Eric and Ernie|access-date=24 August 2011}}</ref><ref>[[ITV (TV network)|ITV]] and the [[British Film Institute|BFI]] quote a figure of 21.3 million. {{cite web|url=http://www.bfi.org.uk/features/mostwatched/1970s.html |title=Features &#124; Britain's Most Watched TV &#124; 1970s |publisher=BFI |date=4 September 2006 |access-date=28 April 2012 |url-status=dead |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20051122221511/http://www.bfi.org.uk/features/mostwatched/1970s.html |archive-date=22 November 2005 }}</ref><ref>{{cite news|last=Moran|first=Joe|date=22 March 2011|url=https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2010/dec/20/christmas-show-one-nation-television?INTCMP=SRCH|title=One nation Christmas television|newspaper=[[The Guardian]]|access-date=24 August 2011}}</ref> The duo remain among the most consistently high-rating performers of all time on British television, regularly topping the in-week charts during their heyday in the 1970s and early 1980s.<br />
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===Famous sketches===<br />
;Grieg's Piano Concerto<br />
Classic sketches from such shows often revolved around the guest stars. One example is the 1971 appearance of [[André Previn]], who was introduced onstage by Ernie as '''Andrew Preview'''. Previn's schedule was extremely tight, and Morecambe and Wise were worried that he had very little time to rehearse: popular myth holds that Previn had to learn his lines in the taxi on the way from the airport, but in reality he had taken part in two days of rehearsals (out of a planned five) before having to fly to America to see his mother, who had been taken ill. The final result was described by their biographer as "probably their finest moment".<ref>{{Harvnb|McCann|1999|pp=235, 246}}</ref><br />
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The sketch was a rework of one which appeared in ''[[Two of a Kind (1961)|Two of a Kind]]'' (Series 3, Episode 7)<ref>{{Cite web|url=http://www.morecambeandwise.com/showbaseepisode.aspx?action=1&show=3|title=Morecambe & Wise Episode Guides}}</ref> and written by Green and Hills.<br />
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Previn is initially enthusiastic as a guest, but he is perplexed by the news that he will not, after all, be conducting [[Yehudi Menuhin]] in [[Felix Mendelssohn|Mendelssohn]]'s [[Violin Concerto (Mendelssohn)|Violin Concerto]], but [[Edvard Grieg]]'s [[Piano Concerto (Grieg)|A minor Piano Concerto]] with Eric as piano soloist: {{Cquote|Ernie: I can assure you that Eric is more than capable.<br />Previn: Well—all right. I'll go and get my baton.<br />Ernie: Please do that.<br />Previn: It's in Chicago.<ref>{{Harvnb|McCann|1999|pp=233–234}}</ref>}}<br />
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At this point in the sketch Morecambe punches the air with his fist and [[Improvisation|ad-libs]] the line "Pow! He's in! I ''like'' him! I ''like'' him!".<ref name="harvnb247">{{Harvnb|McCann|1999|p=247}}</ref> The television executive [[Michael Grade]] has observed that it was Previn's expert delivery of his lines that caused Morecambe to visibly relax: "Eric's face lights up as if to say, 'Oh, ''yes''! This is going to be ''great''!"<ref name="harvnb247"/> Since Previn hadn't time to rehearse, his comic timing was a surprise to Morecambe, who had explained to Previn simply that "None of the three of us should believe that this is funny."<ref>{{cite web |url=https://www.comedy.co.uk/features/comedy_chronicles/andre-previn-prelude-preview/ |title=The Prelude of Mr Preview: How André Previn won over Morecambe & Wise |last= McCann|first=Graham |date=13 December 2020 |website=British Comedy Guide |publisher= |access-date=5 February 2022 |quote=}}</ref><br />
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Eric goes on to treat Previn and the orchestra with his customary disdain ("In the Second Movement, not too heavy on the banjos") and produces his own score ("autographed copies available afterwards, boys") but consistently fails to enter on the conductor's cue. This is because, when the orchestra begins, Eric is standing right next to Previn. During the introductory bars, Eric has to descend from the conductor's rostrum, down to his place at the piano. This he cannot do in the time available—or rather, deliberately meanders so as to miss his cue. After failing twice to reach the piano, they decide he should be seated there at the start.<ref name="harvnb234">{{Harvnb|McCann|1999|p=234}}</ref> Even then, he cannot see Previn when the conductor gestures for him to begin playing, because the piano lid obscures his view. Previn has to leap in the air at the appropriate time, so that Eric can see him. When he finally manages to enter on time, Eric's rendition of the piano part is so bizarre that Previn becomes exasperated and tells Eric that he is playing "all the wrong notes". Eric stands up, seizes Previn by the lapels and menacingly informs him "I'm playing all the right notes—but not necessarily in the right order."<ref name="harvnb234"/> Previn demonstrates how the piece should be played but Eric, after a moment's reflection, delivers a verdict of "Rubbish!" and he and Ernie walk off in disgust. Previn starts playing Eric's version and the duo rush back, declare that Previn has finally "got it" and start dancing ecstatically.<ref name="harvnb234"/> The sketch's impact can be assessed by the fact that twenty-five years later, London [[Taxicab|taxi]] drivers were still addressing André Previn as "Mr. Preview".<ref>{{Harvnb|McCann|1999|p=268}}</ref><br />
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;Singin' in the Rain<br />
One of the famous Morecambe and Wise routines was their 1976 Christmas Show parody of the scene from the film ''[[Singin' in the Rain]]'' in which [[Gene Kelly]] dances in the rain and sings the song "[[Singin' in the Rain (song)|Singin' in the Rain]]". This recreation featured Ernie exactly copying Gene Kelly's dance routine, on a set which exactly copied the set used in the movie, and Eric performed the role of the policeman. The difference from the original was that in the Morecambe and Wise version, there is no water, except for some downpours onto Eric's head (through a drain, or dumped out of a window, ''etc.''). This lack of water was initially because of practical considerations (the floor of the studio had many electrical cables on it, and such quantities of water would be dangerous)—but Morecambe and Wise found a way to turn the lack of water into a comic asset. The sketch was devised and choreographed by [[Ernest Maxin]].<br />
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;The Breakfast Sketch<br />
This 1976 sketch has become one of the duo's most familiar, and is a parody of a stripper routine where Eric and Ernie are seen listening to the radio at breakfast time. This sketch was not an original but was adapted from an earlier one [[Benny Hill]] performed [[The Benny Hill Show|on his own show]] during the mid-1960s. [[David Rose (musician)|David Rose]]'s tune "[[The Stripper]]" comes on and the duo perform a dance using various kitchen utensils and food items, including Ernie catching slices of toast as they popped out of the toaster, and finally opening the fridge door to be bathed in light, as if on stage, while they pull out strings of sausages which they whirl around to the music. The sketch was choreographed and produced by [[Ernest Maxin]].<br />
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In December 2007, viewers of satellite channel [[Gold (UK TV channel)|Gold]] voted the sketch the best moment of Morecambe and Wise's shows.<ref>{{cite web |url=http://uktv.co.uk/gold/stepbystep/aid/596689 |title=UKTV Gold: Entertainment: Morecambe and Wise: The Greatest Moment |publisher=Uktv.co.uk |access-date=3 January 2009}}</ref><br />
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[[Propellerheads]] parodied the sketch in the video for their 1998 single "Crash!"<ref>Archived at [https://ghostarchive.org/varchive/youtube/20211211/BPBdX-efYQ8 Ghostarchive]{{cbignore}} and the [https://web.archive.org/web/20110603070042/http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BPBdX-efYQ8 Wayback Machine]{{cbignore}}: {{cite web |url=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BPBdX-efYQ8 |title=Propellerheads – Crash! |website=[[YouTube]] |access-date=18 June 2013}}{{cbignore}}</ref> and it was parodied in two UK television commercials in 2008, for [[PG Tips]] and [[Aunt Bessie|Aunt Bessie's Yorkshire Puddings]].<br />
<br />
;Tribute to Flanagan & Allen<br />
Eric and Ernie often cited the earlier comedy team [[Flanagan and Allen]] as influences on their own work; although Morecambe and Wise never imitated or copied Flanagan and Allen, they did sometimes work explicit references to the earlier team into their own cross-talk routines and sketches. In 1971 they recorded a tribute album, ''Morecambe and Wise Sing Flanagan and Allen'' (Phillips 6382 095), in which they performed some of the earlier team's more popular songs in their own style, without attempting to imitate the originals.<br />
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==Films==<br />
* [[The Intelligence Men]]<br />
* [[That Riviera Touch]]<br />
* [[The Magnificent Two]]<br />
* [[Night Train to Murder]]<br />
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==Notes==<br />
{{Reflist|30em}}<br />
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==References==<br />
* {{Cite book |last=McCann |first=Graham |title=Morecambe & Wise |publisher=Fourth Estate |location=London |year=1999 |isbn=1-85702-911-9 |url-access=registration |url=https://archive.org/details/morecambewise0000mcca }}<br />
* {{Cite book |last1=Sellars|first1=Robert|last2=Hogg|first2=James|title= Little Ern: The authorised biography of Ernie Wise |publisher= Pan Macmillan |year= 2011 |isbn=9780283071577|url=https://books.google.com/books?id=YD_Gvc5aAGYC}}<br />
* {{Cite book |last=Tynan |first=Kenneth |author-link=Kenneth Tynan |title= Profiles |location= London |year= 2007 |isbn= 978-1-85459-943-8 |publisher=Nick Hern Books }}<br />
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==External links==<br />
* {{Discogs artist|Morecambe & Wise}}<br />
* {{IMDb title|id=0063930}}<br />
* [http://www.morecambeandwise.com Morecambe & Wise] ''Eric And Ern - Keeping the Magic Alive'' (books, film, TV reviews, interviews)<br />
* [http://laughterlog.com/2009/03/14/eric-morecambe-ernie-wise Morecambe & Wise] biography, plus complete list of radio/television/film/book/record appearances at Laughterlog.com<br />
* [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LDG2A8jX6Ds Morecambe & Wise] in advert for [[Texaco]] with racing driver [[James Hunt]], at [[YouTube]]<br />
* [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VJw7uuINd_4 Morecambe & Wise] in advert for the [[Atari 2600]] computer games console, at [[YouTube]]<br />
* [http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/8301889.stm Morecambe & Wise] ''Eric and Ernie letter unearthed'', at [[BBC News]] 12 October 2009<br />
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[[Category:Morecambe and Wise| ]]<br />
[[Category:English comedy duos]]<br />
[[Category:English male comedians]]<br />
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